terrible.h

char *jokeArray[] = { 
"What did the green grape say to the purple grape?\r\n  Breathe, idiot! BREATHE!\r\n",
"What did the fisherman say to the card magician?\r\n Pick a cod, any cod!\r\n", 
"What is a wok?\r\n A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits\r\n", 
"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?\r\n I don't know and I don't care\r\n", 
"What's at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?\r\n A nervous wreck\r\n", 
"What do you call a person in a tree with a briefcase?\r\n A branch manager!\r\n",
"Why should you not write with a dull pencil?\r\n Because it's pointless.\r\n",
"What has three balls and flies through space?\r\n E.T. The Extra Testicle!\r\n",
"What are a ninja's favourite type of shoes?\r\n Sneakers!\r\n",
"How do you catch a bra?\r\n With a booby trap!\r\n", 
"What did one snowman say to the other snowman?\r\nIt smells like carrots out here!\r\n",
"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a truck. Badum TSSS.\r\n",
"What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.\r\n",
//"Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting in a cafe. He says to the waitress: \"I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.\" The waitress replies, \"I'm sorry but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?\”\r\n",
"Descartes finishes up his meal at a restaurant. The waitress asks, \"Would you like dessert?\" He says, \"I think not\" and disappears.\r\n",
"Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says \"You man the guns, I'll drive\"\r\n",
"Two soldiers are in a tank, on turns to the other and says 'blurglbrglbrgl!'\r\n",
"Knock knock\r\nWho's there?\r\nControl freak. Now you say \"Control freak who?\"\r\n",
"A photon walks into a hotel. The desk clerk says, \"Welcome to our hotel. Can we help you with your luggage?\" The photon says, \"No thanks, I'm traveling light.\"\r\n",
"It's raining cats and dogs out there!\" - \"I know, I just stepped in a poodle.\"\r\n",
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.\r\n",
"What do you call a cow with epilepsy? - Beef jerky\r\n",
"Why do scuba divers always fall backwards out of the boat? - If they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat.\r\n",
"I poured root beer in a square glass. Now I just have beer\r\n",
"To the guys who stole my MS Office: I will find you! You have my word!\r\n",
"What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?\r\nOutlaws are wanted.\r\n"
};