run_commands_for_mysql.txt

UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A copy of the 2012 University of Chicago Scavenger Hunt List. [1 point' WHERE item_id=1;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='This is my stapler. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My stapler is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. My stapler, without me, is useless. Without my stapler, I am useless. I must bind my documents true. Bring your Swingline 747 Classic and one cleaning tool of your choice to Judgment, dismantle the stapler into eight pieces, present for inspection, reassemble, load a fresh clip, and put the finishing touch on Item 1. [7.47 points, plus 1 point for every minute under 5]' WHERE item_id=2;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Marksmen, fall in!  Over the next four days, your Scav Marksman will have an opportunity to demonstrate his or her skill and versatility with some of the most iconic foamarms and waterarms of the past twenty-five years. For in the end, there can be only one HasPro. The challenge begins on Eckhart Quad, Thursday at 10:30 am, where you will be introduced to your first round and provided with your weaponry. [d points' WHERE item_id=3;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='OMG <EQUITY> DES <GO> <PRINT> [5 points' WHERE item_id=4;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description=' Get precisely four out of five dentists to recommend each of the following: [10 points]  a. Sugarless gum. b. Maybe using the gym every once in a while, huh?  c. Starting with Led Zeppelin IV or Houses of the Holy. d. Not rushing it. You’re always going to remember your first time, so make it special. e. A specialist.' WHERE item_id=5;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='That’s the problem with this country—we used to be illiterate. Nowadays, even children can read signs, and it’s putting good American jobs at risk. To that end, please find a barber’s pole, an apothecary’s show globe, a tobacconist’s wooden Indian, and a pawnbroker’s three balls. [2 points each for pictures with one of your teammates, 15 points each if brought to Judgment' WHERE item_id=6;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A magnet, at Judgment. [1 point for every 2 inches the magnet can attract a ball bearing' WHERE item_id=7;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Using no kits, no electronics, no parts from other timepieces, and no more than $75 worth of purchased supplies (please provide receipts), construct a clock and deliver it between 7 a.m. and 8 a.m. Sunday to the Ida Noyes library. There, you may make one calibration, but no one may touch your clock after 8 a.m. Clocks will be judged at noon. [60 points for accuracy to within 5 minutes at noon, 30 more points for accuracy to within one minute, and 10 more points if the clock could plausibly function accurately for more than three days' WHERE item_id=8;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='2.11 2.7 163.21 31.14 274.4 1 115.8 348.15 3.6 248.2 182.13 [5 points' WHERE item_id=9;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At Ulysses S. Grant’s wishing spittoon in Galena, IL, each member of the Caucus makes his, her, or Corn’s deepest wish, and throws a penny. [2 points, 5 bonus points for a penny that makes it in' WHERE item_id=10;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Besides his many medals, his recruitment efforts for the Marines during WWII, and his warmhearted temperament that made so many post-war Americans reconsider the supposedly indelible aggression of his German heritage, “Tater” was also a prestigious patriarch. What was the name of the infamous magician who was both Tater’s grandson and great-grandson?  [2 points' WHERE item_id=11;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='This item is hidden in a campus building on the Quads. [4 points]' WHERE item_id=12;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='An origami crane of wingspan no more than 1 cm. [15 points' WHERE item_id=13;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Parade swag from up to three identifiably different New Orleans krewes. Bonus points for an invitation to a krewe’s post-parade celebration. [2 points per krewe, 5 points for the invitation' WHERE item_id=14;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A chess set, with board tiles made of 2–3” squares, to be judged on permanence, craftsmanship, and fanciful depiction of a classic struggle. [45 points' WHERE item_id=15;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Somewhere in Chicago: FUNDAMENTALS. [1 point' WHERE item_id=16;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Once, amidst a controversy over divestment, the Maroon published an article entitled “Is the Student Body Changing? ” Far from discussing puberty, this article expressed worry about the normalization of the University of Chicago community. It voiced fear about the intrusion of jocks and Ófrizzy haired blondesÓ and also displayed a positively Persian distaste for Greek Life. On what date was this article published, and why was its timing ironic?  [7 points]' WHERE item_id=17;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A pen that has been used to sign a bill into law. [18 points' WHERE item_id=18;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At Judgment, or in a single-take video, perform as many of the cells of Swanson’s Pyramid of Greatness as you can in 30 seconds. [0.25 points per cell' WHERE item_id=19;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='In Algona, the Caucus basks in the majesty of the World’s Largest Cheeto.6ex®. Corn takes a dangerously cheesy photograph. [5 points]' WHERE item_id=20;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='As Allied troops were approaching the city, Hitler gathered his top advisers and generals in his Berlin bunker. He flew into a tempestuous rage when told the one thing he simply could not bear to hear: Microsoft.6ex® Flight Simulator X lacked the full range of features he desired, or was it that he had been banned from XBox LIVE, or something about Kanye?  Historical records offer contradictory accounts. Similar controversy exists about another moment in history that is really the same in every important respect: the historic conversation between Itchy, Malla, and Lumpy in their arboreal home. Provide video documentation of the content of their discussion. [6 points' WHERE item_id=21;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='The 25-man roster of a baseball team that won the World Series in Strat-o-matic.6ex® cards, in their original printing. [17 points' WHERE item_id=22;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='In his treatise Dreams of a Spiritseer, Immanuel Kant launches on a philosophical and historical investigation of popular stories of ghost sightings in order to defend his metaphysical system. Back then he used philosophy; today, he can avail himself of a much more powerful tool: reality TV. Produce a segment from Ghost Hunters: Ghosts Kant Stop Him. [5 points' WHERE item_id=23;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='The biggest, most badass coaster that will fit in Leafy Lakes. [(excitement + intensity – nausea) / 2 points. Coasters with intensity values over 10 will be awarded 0 points' WHERE item_id=24;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='For the first time in over 20 years, Chicago has a new mayor. It’s an election year, and it’s about time another tired symbol of the old regime also fell: mustard. At noon on Friday, go to Hot Doug’s dressed as the condiment of your choice. Distribute literature and try to convince the people of your worth. Disparaging rival condiments is encouraged. [15 points' WHERE item_id=25;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Worm Charming!  Standard WWCC rules will be enforced, but feel free to substitute your fork and fiddle for a stob and rooping iron. Meet at the Point at 3:30 p.m. on Friday. [20 points for first place, 16 points for second 12 points for third, 8 points for fourth, 2 points for participation' WHERE item_id=26;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='All I know is that every item has a story—and is worth some points. Send your appropriately clad Old Man, Rick, or Big Hoss (or even Chumlee) to the BSLC on Thursday at 7:00 p.m. for Scav Pawn Stars. Contestants will be presented with some item from Scav Hunts past, along with its description and year, and better be able to say how much it’s worth. They should also bring in one of their buddies who is an expert in this kinda thing. [u points' WHERE item_id=27;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At the statue of Pocahontas, Buddy Holly sings with all the voices of the mountains. [5 points]' WHERE item_id=28;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Who would win in a fight: a Blue Hen or a Golden Gopher?  A pugnacious Irishman or a beer and whiskey cocktail?  Let’s find out!  Create a superhero based on a four-year college of your choice, other than U-.2667em .5exo-.125em.4exf-.125em C. Send your level 8 heroes to Atlas Park on Justice at 11:30 p.m. on Friday for an academic smackdown. [3 points, 4 more points for winning' WHERE item_id=29;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='TBA. [10 points]' WHERE item_id=30;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Have two team members, appropriately attired, comment on the presentation of all the items on this page in the manner of the most vicious, incisive, yet also fair and balanced critics of our era: Statler and Waldorf. [4 points]' WHERE item_id=31;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Bring your most colorful tri-fold posters, dramatic demonstrations, and convincing data to the BSLC at 11:00 a.m. on Friday. It’s time for the first annual University of Chicago Pseudoscience Fair!  Primary research only, please. [Up to 20 points' WHERE item_id=32;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A xyloexplosive!  [0.25 points per foot over 10 feet, up to a maximum of 40 points' WHERE item_id=33;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='On their way to turn in for their first night, near Clear Lake, John Deer and Buddy Holly find the manliest police department. [4 points]' WHERE item_id=34;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='As Calvin’s dad taught us all, the world turned color sometime in the 1930s. As with any major social movement, however, there were some luddites who refused to change. Bring us one of these “grayscalers”. [13 points' WHERE item_id=35;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='The Dover case is famous for proving that mousetraps aren’t irreducibly complex. But what about the missing links? !  Bring us physical specimens illustrating the complete evolutionary tree of the mousetrap. There should be at least five steps, and every step must be fully functional. [12 points' WHERE item_id=36;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At the Surf Ballroom, Buddy Holly finds Don McLean’s tribute to him written upon a wall. Corn finds a telegram from the King himself. [10 points]' WHERE item_id=37;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A three-page excerpt from Harlequin.6ex®’s Song of Solomon. [3 points' WHERE item_id=38;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='“Hope you’re hungry!  You should see the toast!  I couldn’t even get it through the door! ” Create a pancake to make Uncle Buck proud. Please provide evidence of flipping via snow shovel. [20 points]' WHERE item_id=39;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Bring a chess set, a chess clock (or a smart phone with a chess clock app), and your best Arimaa player to the Bartlett Trophy Lounge at 9:00 a.m. on Friday. It’s time for a tournament. [20 points for first place, 15 points for second place, 10 points for third place, 5 points for participation' WHERE item_id=40;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Who signed the guestbook at the World’s Largest Ball of Popcorn on April 28.5exth, and what is his claim to fame?  [2 points]' WHERE item_id=41;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='You have one (1) minute to get a team member from their underwear to fully dressed. The team member cannot move, and all you have are as many helpers as you can use and some buckets of paint. GO!  [12 points' WHERE item_id=42;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Even if you missed your chance to be a child beauty queen, you can still go high glitz in a full glossy photo. [4-year-old points]' WHERE item_id=43;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A page each from at least three different chapters of Luigi Serafini’s Codex Scavinianus. [9 points' WHERE item_id=44;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='An original table-top wargame playable with only coins, small office supplies, and other things I might reasonably expect to have in my pockets. (And no, I don’t reasonably expect to have three d12s in my pockets. Nerds.) On Thursday starting at 1:00 p.m., you’ll have 15 minutes to give me a copy of the rules, explain them, and play part of a battle with me. Playtests will be scheduled at Captains’ Operatory. [12 points' WHERE item_id=45;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At the National Farm Toy Museum, The Sturgeon Mary tries to exorcise the demon living in the Tru-Scale button on the second floor. John Deer acts interested to the John Deere Barbie, but in his heart of hearts, feels conflicted. In the county fair diorama, Buddy Holly finds the van inviting him to join in on the fun of the 60s, but sadly, knows that he never can. Corn cowers in fear, surrounded by the tools of Corn’s destruction. [16 points]' WHERE item_id=46;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Transform a boring landscape painting from a garage sale or pawn shop into a true work of art by painting in a scene from Scav Hunts of yore. [15 points' WHERE item_id=47;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Amigurumi of three of your most recognizable team members. [15 points' WHERE item_id=48;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Prepare a classy dinner for Judgment. But it would take too long to eat a full dinner from every team, so why don’t you serve it at 1/10 scale?  Serve appropriately-sized portions from appropriately-sized serving dishes. Dinners must include a before-dinner cocktail, at least three courses, and a post-dinner cocktail. Cocktails should be mixed and dinners should be served as this page is judged. [10 points]' WHERE item_id=49;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A Justin Bieber 2.0 Justin-worn memorabilia trading card. [25 points' WHERE item_id=50;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='John Deer sees Albert the Bull from the highway, and is strangely drawn to the animal. When he gets there, he doesn’t exactly grab the bull by its horns... [3 points]' WHERE item_id=51;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Judgment is in three days and you don’t want to be stuck as a goat in your next life, do you?  Rack up as much karma as you can in the next 84 hours, and make sure the gods see it. We hear they don’t look beyond the first page. [12 points for r/all; 2 points for a default subreddit.' WHERE item_id=52;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At the Grotto of the Redemption, The Sturgeon Mary has finally found the place where she belongs. She reverently caresses the coral, which reminds her of her home, as she ascends to the very top of the grotto and extends her fins in a gesture of blessing over the state of Iowa. Meanwhile, John Deer admires the rock-hard musculature of the religious statues. Buddy Holly, wishing he had survived to 1971, air guitars “Stairway to Heaven” on his way up to the top of the Grotto. Corn gazes out the window in Jesus’s childhood home and wonders why Corn cannot see cornfields. [6 points]' WHERE item_id=53;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Clory to Cod in the Hichest!  The Sturgeon Mary is delighted to see that The Grotto is spreading the word of Cod. [4 points]' WHERE item_id=54;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A Jacob’s Ladder that, when flipped, tells the story of your team’s descent into hell. [9 circles of points' WHERE item_id=55;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Thirty paces north from the hanged-man tree and onward to the stone of the setting sun. You will be given one treasure map and six hours to unearth the fortunes it hides. [10 points]' WHERE item_id=56;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Your audition tape for ZOOM, featuring an instructional demonstration of something you love. Keep your submission under three minutes and remember to ask for your parents’ permission!  [Ages 6 and over points' WHERE item_id=57;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='IT BIG AND DRITY. [2 points]' WHERE item_id=58;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Cake from Harold’s Chicken Shack, with its receipt. [2 points' WHERE item_id=59;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='We hear CAPS is offering a Metcalf for groundskeeper at Scavwarts. Wizards don’t know what a résumé is, so bring us your collection of antique and ornate keys on an iron ring instead. [9 points' WHERE item_id=60;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At Beadle Park in Cresco, Corn finds Norman Borlaug’s revolutionary wheat discovery disappointing. John Deer thinks the Log Cabin might be a nice place to live. The Sturgeon Mary wags a fin at the land mine and the destruction it might have caused. Buddy Holly performs a short concert on the flatbed of the train. [8 points]' WHERE item_id=61;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='You guys are all talk and no action!  Show us how bad, but also how law-abiding, your team really is by displaying your team name and logo in reverse graffiti on an off-campus building. [10 points]' WHERE item_id=62;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='In Britt, Buddy Holly appreciates Gypsy Moon’s musical walking stick. John Deer shakes hands with the hobo in the front. Don’t forget to say hello to Linda at Mary Jo’s Hobo House across the street!  [8 points]' WHERE item_id=63;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Design a set of Scav-themed drop caps. [26/2 points' WHERE item_id=64;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='I hate having to make French onion soup every time I need a good cry. Find another way to make me shed a tear. Please don’t hurt me. [1 point' WHERE item_id=65;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Maybe the Church of Satan is having trouble catching on because they don’t have any of those fun worksheets for kids to color and solve puzzles in during Black Mass. Help them out by designing one, and please use proper sources for your information. Our children are our future!  [2.666 points' WHERE item_id=66;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Compose and perform an original piece of work in the style of Mozart’s “Der Spiegel” Duet. [20 points]' WHERE item_id=67;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='John Deer is very excited to hear that the Caucus is headed to Sac City. Upon arriving, the Caucus is puzzled by the miniature shops in the town square. The Sturgeon Mary peers in the window of the tiny church, and is disturbed by what she finds within. As Corn approaches the red barn, Corn realizes that something is terribly wrong. Throwing Cornself to the ground, Corn weeps for Corn’s fallen brethren, shaking Corn’s leaves to the heavens. John Deer and Buddy Holly attempt to console Corn, but to no avail; Corn is but a husk of what Corn once was. [10 points]' WHERE item_id=68;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='There sure is a lot of sand in this cartridge. Why would anyone bury it in a desert?  [7 points' WHERE item_id=69;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='La Cucaracha, la cucaracha, ya no puede caminar!  At the Captain’s Operatory, each team will be given one (1) cockroach. If you wish, you can be its friend, a lifelong bond. However, you may also opt for bonds of a different sort: metallic. Make your choice, and at Judgment present your cockroach either alive, with a bowtie and top hat, or dead, and electroplated. [10 points for mercy, 25 points for murder]' WHERE item_id=70;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A rabbit made of grass?  A lion made of wildebeest meat?  Create a sculpture of a chordate from its food source. [11 points' WHERE item_id=71;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='One rainbow cupcake [1 point] or one Rainbow cupcake befitting Pinkie Pie [4 points]' WHERE item_id=72;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Step 1: Obtain some graphing calculators. Step 2: Combine their displays to make a naughty picture that will scandalize the Judges, using only graphed functions (provide a list). Step 3: Giggle like a schoolchild!  [8==D points' WHERE item_id=73;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='History is written by the victors, but fuck that shit. Where would Europe be if not for the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth?  Bring an authentic map from its era that displays the greatest nation ever to be shafted by the history books. [28 points' WHERE item_id=74;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Prepare a dessert for those with eccentric tastes. Ice cream cones, containing ice cream, from which you will make and serve ice cream conic sections. [3 points per non-degenerate conic section' WHERE item_id=75;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Would a chicken of the woods go Òbawk bawkÓ or Òbark barkÓ?  Regardless, bring us the largest specimen you can find, and make sure to take a picture of you harvesting it. [1 point per kilogram, maximum 45 points' WHERE item_id=76;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Hearts are beautiful things. They simply and elegantly drive the flow of lifeblood, representing strength, endurance, and even love. Break one. It need not be human, but it must have once beat with the passion that you symbolically shatter. [8 points' WHERE item_id=77;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Even deceased particle accelerators deserve at least two minutes of remembrance. Prepare a fitting eulogy for our dearly departed friend, the Tevatron. [Points based on the deliverer, in the field of physics, of said eulogy. 1 point for a PhD Candidate, 2 points for a postdoc, 4 points for a professor, 8 points for a Nobel laureate, 16 points for a Fermilab director, 32 points for Stephen Hawking.' WHERE item_id=78;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='The gory opening of Foucault’s Discipline and Punish rubs some people the wrong way. Create an adorable substitute for those of us offended by such things: hang, draw, and quarter a teddy bear. [4 points' WHERE item_id=79;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Boy, do we have the hots for you. Six ways from Sunday. And if you come to the Pub at 2:30 p.m. on Thursday, we’ll show you every one (oh my! ) But then you’ll have to tell us exactly what kind of hots we have for you. And that’s going to be hard to do, because your mouth will be on fire. We’ll supply the wings, the milk, and six sauces—you’ll tell us which peppers they contain. [3 points per guess]' WHERE item_id=80;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Hershey’s French Kisses. [1 point' WHERE item_id=81;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Billy Mays here, from beyond the grave!  I used to pitch OxiClean.6ex® and other great products, but ever since I’ve been cursed to walk the earth in horrid undeath there’s only one product I endorse: Blood.6ex®. Delicious, crimson Blood.6ex®!  Orange Glo.6ex®?  More like A, B, and O!  Demand is high, so help keep me sated—I mean, help keep America’s favorite life-saving product in abundant supply. Act now and donate at DCAM 5G, Thursday and Friday, 7:30 a.m.–4:30 p.m.!  Mmm...[h points]' WHERE item_id=82;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='They were created by man. They evolved. They rebelled. There are many copies. One battle-ready Xerox machine, optimized for office warfare. [12 points, and they have a plan.' WHERE item_id=83;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Don’t let your next trip by airship turn into a disaster. Stay protected!  Turn a condom into a dirigible, preferably filled with safe, non-flammable helium. [19.37 points' WHERE item_id=84;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='In the Reiman Gardens in Ames, IA, Corn is delivered from the previous day’s despair and frolics through the expanses of plants. Corn discovers, however, that some of the plants aren’t real. John Deer finds American Majesty at the top of a hill, and finds a new special farmer friend. The Sturgeon Mary delights in the big red rose, but finds even more joy seeing her long-lost friends, the carp, in the pond. [8 points]' WHERE item_id=85;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='On their way out, the Caucus marvels at the many-colored butterflies in the Reiman Gardens. John Deer knows in his heart of hearts that he, too, has undergone a transformation, and confides in one of his winged new friends. [4 points' WHERE item_id=86;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Imagine one thousand suns in the sky at the same time. Let them shine for one hour. Then, let them gradually melt into the sky. Make one tuna fish sandwich and eat. [4 points, floating in perfume, served in a man’s hat' WHERE item_id=87;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Fish with man with “Man with Fish”. [6 points' WHERE item_id=88;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Through the turbulent millenia, two things have remained constant. Societies have always predicted the end of days, and parents have always asked their humanities-minded children, “What are you ever going to do with that degree? ” In this two thousand and twelfth year of Our Lord, both eternal questions will be answered once and for all. Bring a published eschatologist to Judgment Day. [7th seal points' WHERE item_id=89;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='In Japan, everything is cute—even the bread. Bake a loaf of bread that reveals an adorable animal’s face in every slice. [6 points' WHERE item_id=90;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A card-carrying Republican faculty member of the Humanities Division. [5 points' WHERE item_id=91;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='In Freeport, IL, Buddy Holly tosses out the first pitch at Little Cubs Field, while John Deer enthusiastically runs the bases. [4 points]' WHERE item_id=92;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Corn refuses to cheer for Pretzel Power in Freeport because Corn prefers maize-based snacks. [3 points' WHERE item_id=93;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='It can be embarrassing to nod off in HUM class when you’re sitting right next to your professor. That’s why there’s a new line of custom roasted coffees for HUM sequences, complete with elegant packaging and flowery descriptions!  Create signature roasts for two classes, and brew me a cup of your favorite. Remember to roast your own beans. Cite your sources: your writing tutor hates a plagiarist. [18 points]' WHERE item_id=94;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='“Merry Menstruation! ” and up to four other unwanted greeting cards. [4 points' WHERE item_id=95;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Be sure you’re alerted when the Judges come to call by installing a Downton Abbey-style bell board that can summon your captains to at least three locations in your headquarters. [21 points' WHERE item_id=96;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A 9,720-calorie sculpture and the packaging to prove it. [9.720 points' WHERE item_id=97;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='My God!  That’s the most erotic “Dear Abby” column I’ve ever seen!  I can’t believe they put that in print!  [2 points' WHERE item_id=98;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='t the Matchstick Marvels Museum in Gladbrook, The Sturgeon Mary finds the missing matchstick in Notre Dame. Buddy Holly gazes at the Challenger, unsure of what it is and of why he doesn’t like it. Corn looks at the signage and finds Pat’s disclaimer regarding Minas Tirith. John Deer finds the model that has the most matchsticks. How many was it again?  [12 points]' WHERE item_id=99;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Who is she?  Where is she going?  Well, she’s probably an urban bee farmer attending the daytime Emmys ironically. And nothing says hipster couture like a red carpet gown made entirely out of plaid flannel. Cozy!  [16 points' WHERE item_id=100;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Sure, you follow the Dalai Lama, but does he follow you?  Get a religious leader to follow you on Twitter. [5 points for a local leader, 10 points for a national leader, 15 points for a world leader' WHERE item_id=101;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='In Kimballton, The Sturgeon Mary, loving mother of all fish-human chimera, embraces her cousin, the little mermaid. [3 points' WHERE item_id=102;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Patty-cake, patty-cake, baker’s man. Bake us a cake as...small as you can?  As green as you can?  How does that rhyme go again?  Oh well. Send a baker to the baking aisle of Treasure Island at 10:30 a.m. on Thursday. I bet I’ll remember by then. [Up to 30 points]' WHERE item_id=103;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Go to a book-signing and have the author autograph your chest. [14 points' WHERE item_id=104;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A disappearing spoon made of metal. [31 points' WHERE item_id=105;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Did little Davy learn anything today?  He sure did!  Show us the last 1–2 minutes of the Scav Hunt claymation special, complete with learned morals and “the true meaning of Scav Hunt”. [19 points]' WHERE item_id=106;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='When the rabid, radioactive wolves come across Lake Michigan to invade the school, you’ll need the best possible hound to help fight them off. Bring us an Irish wolfhound clad in battle armor or similarly decked out to help deal with this inhospitable northern climate and its inhabitants. [12 points]' WHERE item_id=107;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Create a martini (or, heck, a dirty martini! ) using spherification or flash freezing. [16 points' WHERE item_id=108;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At the museum in Traer, The Sturgeon Mary finds a sturgeon. Corn finds corn. John Deer finds a John Deere. Buddy Holly is saddened that his visage does not grace a shaker, but finds a different shaker that represents him. [4 points' WHERE item_id=109;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Draw a QR code on a chalkboard or sidewalk that links to your team’s website. [7 points' WHERE item_id=110;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='The only enjoyable part of bio lab was shooting the tips off pipettors. Isolate this experience by building a pipet tip machine gun. [20 points for a semi-automatic gun, 35 points for fully automatic gun]' WHERE item_id=111;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Release a pack of zombies at Cobb during the break between classes on Friday at 11:50 a.m. [Up to 4 points per convincing zombie, maximum 5 zombies.' WHERE item_id=112;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Zombies are as easily famished as they are willing to share their spoils of war. Serve a brain cake that oozes blood upon being cut. Make sure to share a bit of the cake with your Cobb victims. [5 pooooints]' WHERE item_id=113;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='In Riverside, IA, at the Future Birthplace of James Tiberius Kirk, the Caucus poses, making the appropriate hand sign. [6 points' WHERE item_id=114;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='One, two, three, tensegrity!  Using nothing more than rope and rods, build the tallest free-standing structure you can on the Quads by 1:00 p.m. on Friday. Rods can be no longer than three feet long. We suggest wrapping paper tubes. “Free-standing” means that nothing is bolted to or stuck into the ground. [2 points per vertical foot, up to a maximum of 30 points]' WHERE item_id=115;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A webcomic-based chronicle of your team’s hunt. Minimum ten updates. [10 points' WHERE item_id=116;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At the Holy Ghost Grotto in Dickeyville, WI, The Sturgeon Mary poses in front of the religion walk. John Deer prefers the salute to American patriotism. Meanwhile, Corn strikes a pose with Christopher Columbus, grateful for his help bringing Corn to the rest of the world. Buddy Holly tries to play some music on the liberty bell, but to no avail. [12 points]' WHERE item_id=117;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Recreate Jerome Simpson’s flip touchdown on Stagg Field...in full pads. Don’t draw an excessive celebration penalty or coach will be real mad. [10 points]' WHERE item_id=118;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Make an edible replica of an office supply. It should be indistinguishable when placed amongst a desk’s plethora of other office supplies. [14 points]' WHERE item_id=119;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Get a menu special named after Scav Hunt or your team featured at a Chicago restaurant. [2 + Z points, where Z is the average of the Zagat scores of the restaurant. 2 extra points for Kuma’s Corner' WHERE item_id=120;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Scav Hunt showcases the cream of the crop of the U-.2667em .5exo-.125em.4exf-.125em C. Confirm this by pulling a shot with the best ratio of crema/coffee you can. [8r points, where r is the fraction of crema volume/drink volume' WHERE item_id=121;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='TACTCAGGATAGTTACGGACAGTAACTTACACCTAGTGGGTAACTTACCTAGCGCTCTCATCATAGTTACCCACTTACTAGTTAA\nCTTACCGGACTTACAAAGAACGGTCATTTACT [3 prime points' WHERE item_id=122;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Having trouble relaying an important message?  Put a bird on it!  Send a message from Ida Noyes via bird to another location. [14 points for a pigeon, 16 points for a raven, 18 points for a hawk, 20 points for a pterodactyl, 22 points for F-14 Tomcat' WHERE item_id=123;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A Friendly Floatee.5exTM that has traveled alone on the high seas. [17 points' WHERE item_id=124;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='The portraits of U-.2667em .5exo-.125em.4exf-.125em C presidents in Hutch Commons inspired by “Kittens inspired by Kittens” [3 points' WHERE item_id=125;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Didn’t go to your senior prom?  No promblem!  We’ll take you back from the future at the “Enchantment Under the Sea” dance in The Ida Noyes Cloister Club on Friday Night at 8:00 p.m. You’d better be sure to wear something decent, bring a big bowl of punch for our punch taste-off, provide us one song that will blow our pre-2002 minds, provide a totally awesome backdrop for photos (put a fish on it! ) and some sweet themed decorations. Also: bring a date!  Ask that cute kid from a different team!  Or bring your mom to prom!  Whatever, McFly, we’re cool with that now. If nothing pans out, a date will be provided for you. [a points' WHERE item_id=126;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A Quistmas Story: The José Quintáns lampshade-hat (you know the one we want), perched atop a lamp base that is an accurate cast of a heeled, hairy, fishnetty man-leg. [18 points' WHERE item_id=127;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A print receipt for a purchase made at exactly noon on Thursday. [3 points for a receipt within 5 seconds. 6 points for exactly 12:00:00' WHERE item_id=128;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Clifford the Big Red Dog, with revised text by Louis C.K. [25 points if Louis C.K. writes it for you, 3 points if you do it yourself' WHERE item_id=129;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Die Hard 2: Die Harder may well be the best sequel name of all time, but we think the franchise has been getting lazy of late. Live Free or Die Hard?  2013’s A Good Day to Die Hard?  What’s next—Driving Miss Die Hard?  A Streetcar Named Die Hard?  Send your troupe of up to three improv actors to the BSLC at 8:00 p.m. on Thursday, where they will be asked to act out scenes from Die Hards yet to come. [s points]' WHERE item_id=130;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Nothin’ beats the hobo life, stabbin’ folks with my hobo...nickel. Hand-whittled or found in the wild. Just make sure this li’l buddy rides the rails all the way to Judgment–a photo won’t do justice to his itinerant lifestyle. [23 points' WHERE item_id=131;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A homemade glow stick, to be cracked and fluoresced at Judgment. [8 points' WHERE item_id=132;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Show us your Kosov-O face!  No need for an actual wedding, but you definitely should show up to Judgment ready for a wedding with a face in the style of the Trebesh community of Kosovo. [13 points' WHERE item_id=133;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='How many toothpicks can you fit in your beard?  [0.1 points per 10 toothpicks, max 4,000 toothpicks' WHERE item_id=134;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='La Petite Cholie: using only the contents of meals (“meals”) purchased from Cholie’s Pizza, craft a dish that would not be out of place on a Michelin-starred restaurant’s menu. [9 points' WHERE item_id=135;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Hey nerds, we know you’ve been to the National Spelling Bee and the National Geography Bee, but now it’s time for a real rümbøl. This time, instead of your atlas or dictionary, ready your 2012 Ikea’alog for the National Ikea.6ex®Bii. Send your regional champion to the Harper 135 at 2:00 p.m. on Saturday for a püblic tëst. Yöu will provide the correct “Swedish” name for photos of given pieces of Ikea.6ex® furniture. [15 points for first place, 10 points for second place, 5 points for third place, 2 points for participation' WHERE item_id=136;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A signed cartoon print received for winning the New Yorker cartoon caption competition. [15 points' WHERE item_id=137;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Scav Hunt is a Witch Hunt!  One of the Judges IS A WITCH!  However, we don’t know which of us is the witch, and it’s your job to help. Be the first to bring us the foul magic user!  [3 points for the first team to identify the witch, any team who accuses the innocent is disqualified' WHERE item_id=138;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Honey Badger secretly DO care: Honey Badger’s PSA about whatever crazy nastyass world problem Honey Badger gives a shit about. [4 points' WHERE item_id=139;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Did you know that UChicago used to have a campus-wide soap carving competition?  Used to?  With a single bar of Ivory.6ex® as your medium, provide an entry based off of 2012’s theme, “Revival”. [5 points' WHERE item_id=140;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Did you know that Seattle used to have a city-wide Spam.6ex® carving competition?  Used to?  With a single can of Classic as your medium, provide an entry based off of 2012’s theme, “Cholesterol”. [8 points' WHERE item_id=141;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Did you know that Scav Hunt has never had an eggshell carving competition?  Never?  With a single white shell as your medium, provide an entry based off of 2012’s theme, “U-.2667em .5exo-.125em.4exf-.125em C Eggheads”. [15 points' WHERE item_id=142;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A tonsured professor. [20 points' WHERE item_id=143;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Zoinks!  Assemble the largest multi-tiered sandwich you can muster(d) in the style of Scooby Doo. True to form, your sandwich should be assembled by shuffling the ingredients (riffle method, please) into a single gargantuan deck of meat, cheese, and bread. [8 points]' WHERE item_id=144;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Find Chicago’s shittiest landmark. [7 points' WHERE item_id=145;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Play me a drink, Sam, for old times’ sake...on your piano that dispenses a beverage component with every keystroke. Changing the melody should change the mixology. Instruments and their compositions will be judged both on the quality of the cocktails and the musicality of their recipes. [250 points, 25 extra points if your keyboard can play a different melody to create a different drink]' WHERE item_id=146;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='It’s Día de los Muertos, Charlie Brown!  Help us get in the holiday spirit early this year by crafting and decorating a homemade sugar skull. Your skull need not be human-shaped, but it should be anatomically accurate. [11 points' WHERE item_id=147;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='An authentic Death Wears Bunny Slippers patch, worn with bunny slippers and a Snuggie.6ex®. [16 points' WHERE item_id=148;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Hail Sturgeon Mary, full of roe, Poseidon is with thee. The Caucus reads its version of the Ave Piscus at the black angel to ward off the potential curse of death. [4 points' WHERE item_id=149;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Buddy Holly, immune to the statue’s curse, kisses the angel. The rest of the Caucus has a choice to make: defy death or run back to the Barnmobile?  [3 points; 2 bonus points for each member of the Caucus that kisses the statue]' WHERE item_id=150;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='It’s the Mold-A-Rama-A-Rama!  Collect as many unique shapes as you can and bring them to the Judge-A-Rama. [0.5 points per specimen, 0.5 extra points for each shape no other team has, up to a maximum of 20 molds]' WHERE item_id=151;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='It’s the Mold-O-Rama-O-Rama!  Collect as many unique colors as you can and bring them to the Judge-O-Rama. [1 point per specimen, maximum 20 points' WHERE item_id=152;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A Jeroboam. A Methuselah. A Salmanazar. A Balthazar. A Nebuchadnezzar. [4 points, 8 points, 12 points, 16 points, and 20 points, respectively. Pick one' WHERE item_id=153;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A bottle of White House Honey Ale. [10 points, 2 bonus points if comes in a Joe Biden beer koozie]' WHERE item_id=154;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='When you were a kid, did you ever cover your hand in glue just to peel it off when it dried?  Now that you’ve matured, it’s time to shed your childish ways and molt a complete human glue-skin!  You can skip your face, but your adhesive husk should be assembled to form a complete epidermis with identifiable limbs and digits. [31 points' WHERE item_id=155;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='How many verses of “New York, New York” can you sing at the Chicago History Museum before it becomes offensive?  What about Cloud Gate?  On Michigan Avenue?  Send up to three crooners outfitted in I  NY t-shirts and document your efforts to get the locals to join you for a chorus. Oh, and one of you should probably dress like the Statue of Liberty. [15 points' WHERE item_id=156;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Tuvan throat singing, live at Judgment. [5 points, 2 extra points for a female singer' WHERE item_id=157;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Hey teams, how about you try winning for once?  During the Hunt, win a radio contest, a raffle, senior center or church bingo, first place in a non-Hunt event, or the lottery. [4 points for a city level competition, 6 points for a state level competition, 10 for a national level competition' WHERE item_id=158;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='An autopen that signs your name at Judgment. [55 points' WHERE item_id=159;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='It’s no secret we think the University of Chicago is terrific, but apparently some people just aren’t convinced. Using string and the architectural nooks and crannies of the Quads, weave an inspirational slogan into a web that would make a Shelob-sized Charlotte proud. Your gossamer propaganda should be spun by 10:00 a.m. on Thursday morning if you want a shot at that blue ribbon. Please make sure not to block walkways or deface buildings with your creations. [30 points, 10 extra points if you wow us with a new design by noon on Friday]' WHERE item_id=160;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Goodness gracious, you created a scale model of the Great Lakes out of fire!  [15 points' WHERE item_id=161;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description=' We seek the Gnome King. Must have a beard, a pointy hat, a pouch of magic stones, and must demonstrate direct responsibility for two natural phenomena. Gnomes should appear in proper attire throughout the hunt, but should demonstrate their traits at Judgment. A gnarled stick, signifying leadership, will be presented to the winner at closing ceremonies. [10 points for sending your gnome, and 3 extra points for the winner' WHERE item_id=162;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Did you ever build those balsa bridges in high school physics?  Well, let’s raise the stakes. Deploy and cross your bridge made of nothing more than balsa and glue across ten feet of Botany Pond on Friday at 5:00 p.m. [60 points]' WHERE item_id=163;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Sometimes, the Internet can make you so angry you cannot type straight. Fix this problem by creating a sturdy keyboard with fist-sized keys. At Judgment, the device should allow me to leave a rude and inane comment on YouTube by punching the keys. [35 points' WHERE item_id=164;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Side mullet. Business on the left, party on the right. [7 points' WHERE item_id=165;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='They say he can walk into any book, with his pony-pal Pokey, too. Have Gumby regret entering this one. [6 terrifying-but-great literature points. 1 minute tops.]' WHERE item_id=166;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='In all things, balance. For one item that you complete, also submit its polar opposite. Don’t hold them too close together. [1 point' WHERE item_id=167;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Is there a doctor in the house? !  Starting at 8:00 a.m. in the Captains Operatory, there damn well better be!  The procedure will begin in front of the Reynolds Club along University Avenue as the Judges inspect your Barnmobiles. Once they have been deemed benign, they’ll be released into the care of the waiting wilds. No later than 8:45 a.m., the Judges will convene a continuing education panel in Hutchinson Commons which can be attended by up to three of your famous physicians to answer any questions that may arise, supply errata, provide detail on certain items that would have ruined their perfect wordings, and talk about our particularly difficult patients. We expect your Captains to be dressed as a distinctive doctor at all public events. We’re looking for originality, so don’t count on impressing us with your sonic screwdrivers. [g points]' WHERE item_id=168;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='On Saturday night at 9:30 p.m., await a prevailing southwesterly, and release a Chinese sky lantern over the lake. [5 beautiful points' WHERE item_id=169;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Show Vita what the U-.2667em .5exo-.125em.4exf-.125em C audience really wants: Nerdy Girls Pretending to Be Dinosaurs, the glossy 8-page photo spread. If I were you, Iguanodon some clothes because showing your Vagaceratops will earn you no additional points. [8 points' WHERE item_id=170;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='In Waukon, John Deer runs out to lock antlers with the Longhorn outside the Village Farm and Home Store. [5 points]' WHERE item_id=171;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Find the tackiest thing you can in The World’s Largest Truckstop. [6 points' WHERE item_id=172;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='With NASA’s funding cut, we need to investigate alternative strategies for lunar exploration. Estimate the amount of force required under the Kramden program. [2 points' WHERE item_id=173;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Send your smallest-framed, most flexible person for this TBA, at the Ratner pool at 2:15 p.m. on Thursday. [12 points]' WHERE item_id=174;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Scav Hunt has an image problem: there’s too much to see in just four days!  Fix this by posing teammates with their finished items in sassy-chic poses for glamorous, hi-res portraits. Smile with your sleep-deprived eyes!  We’ll fix the redness in post!  [.25 points per picture, 40 photos maximum will be pointed, but we’d love to see them all' WHERE item_id=175;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='The Caucus makes a pilgrimage to meet Elwood, deity of their compatriots in Item . All four members of the Caucus encompass Elwood with a hug. [4 points]' WHERE item_id=176;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A teammate whose facial hair rightly earns him the nickname “Starburns”. [7 R.I.Points' WHERE item_id=177;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A book from the U-.2667em .5exo-.125em.4exf-.125em C library system that features irony marks, an interrobang, or both. The glyph must be used as intended; the book may not use the glyph in a discussion about punctuation. [8 points' WHERE item_id=178;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Perform the Hamster Dance in the following styles: gospel, Cajun dance, sea shanty, acoustic rock, renaissance polyphony. [5 points]' WHERE item_id=179;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At the World’s 2.5exnd Largest Collection of Salt and Pepper Shakers, find Santa being tossed by a reindeer, detachable boobs, self-referential spices, demon shakers, toilet shakers, an ink-spill and ink pot, four-eyed people, cannibalistic shakers, nodding shakers, Curious George, a frog holding tomatoes, and a gas pump. [12 points]' WHERE item_id=180;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Gather at the center of the Quads at noon on Friday for a simple game of Name That Tune. No tricks, no lies, we’ll play a tune, and you have to name it. We’re not going to secretly make it trivia about Sir James Tune, or actually make it Name That [Obscure 1970s car]Toon or anything like that. We’ll play the melody from a piece of music, and you name it. It’s that simple. [10 points' WHERE item_id=181;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A word chain, but for real!  Since we’ve already got us a “LIST,” take that word and change a single letter. Bring us the new word—and the object it signifies—physically chained to the first one. Change a letter again, and chain it to the previous word. Continue ad nauseam—and at the end, chain that last word back to the beginning!  [16 points]' WHERE item_id=182;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Somewhere outside of Schleswig, Buddy Holly finds a cow and debates the finer points of the Schleswig-Holstein debate. [6 points]' WHERE item_id=183;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='This Scav Hunt, why not take a break from the stresses of all these items and events?  We’ll give you a nice relaxing jigsaw puzzle. Just bring it back to us at Judgment, completed. [10 points' WHERE item_id=184;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A door that, when opened, creaks out the opening notes of “The Final Countdown”. [1 point for the first four notes; 2 points for the first nine' WHERE item_id=185;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A bookshelf that spins around to reveal the entrance to a secret lair. [24 points, plus 6 bonus points if the spin is triggered by pulling a particular book from the shelf' WHERE item_id=186;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Outside Ida Grove, city of castles, the Caucus notes a  scale model of a vehicle that has no place in the cornfields of Iowa. The Sturgeon Mary delights to see an aquatic vehicle so far inland. [4 points' WHERE item_id=187;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='In Ida Grove, the Caucus takes its picture at one of the castles. John Deer rejects the old-world style as Un-American. [4 points]' WHERE item_id=188;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Bumper stickers from 2012 Democratic presidential candidates other than Barack Obama. [2 points per sticker, max three stickers' WHERE item_id=189;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Judgment is a chaotic time, and things are constantly going missing. To make sure your books stay safe, show me the Ex Libris stamp that embosses things as clearly belonging to your team. It should feature your team’s stylized mascot and/or logo, and it should bowl over would-be thieves with its aesthetic extravagance. [13 points' WHERE item_id=190;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Urban sprawl ain’t too pretty. Save our farms; build in the city!  [4 points]' WHERE item_id=191;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At 8:00 a.m. on Thursday, the Raucous Caucus rumbles down University Avenue in their Barnmobile. Headlining is Buddy Holly, fingers snapping, black rim glasses over his sparkling youthful eyes. Somewhere along the line, he lost his guitar, but he’s carrying a new, compact instrument, and is ready to rock ’n’ roll. Second in command is John Deer, clad in overalls and his eponymous hat, antlers gleaming in the early morning sunlight. Following serenely behind them, The Sturgeon Mary is quite the catch, with her blue robe draped daintily over her scales, a halo encircling her fishy visage. But she’s not just a Sturgeon, she’s also a person. And the last member of the Caucus is Corn. They’ll need to keep their Hawkeyes sharp for their upcoming journey through cornfields, exciting sites, and more cornfields. [z points]' WHERE item_id=192;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Lyle Crocodile had such bad table manners, but that’s just how he rolls!  As an act of solidarity with our reptilian friend, have a teammate, in a kiddie pool, eat several bites of steak using the crocodile death roll. After one bite via death roll, though, abandon your reptilian ways and chew!  [3 points' WHERE item_id=193;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='He took off his hat but it didn’t do any good, the hats kept coming faster and faster. He took off hat after hat until he was standing in a great pile of hats!  During Judgment, keep your hat on when you take your hat off by always having a hat beneath your hat. Sir Snipps can’t stand it, and it’ll leave King Derwin frustrated!  [0.25 points per hat in excess of ten hats, limit 100 hats' WHERE item_id=194;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A bowline, alpine butterfly, and figure-eight follow-through made of string cheese. [6 points' WHERE item_id=195;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Bedecking the Caucus’s Barnmobile is a patterned Barn Quilt with an abstract geometric pattern that represents their team. [10 points]' WHERE item_id=196;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Oh no, where did he go?  The army’s trying to perfect invisibility cloaks, but, like the octopus, you’re eras ahead of them. Have one team member move continuously between three different backgrounds and blend in perfectly with each. No more than two of the backgrounds may be ones you’ve constructed, and nothing may be added to the scene or person during the completion of this item. [8 points' WHERE item_id=197;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='The trailer to this summer’s most anticipated action hit: The Trolley Problem. Don’t forget to include the fat man!  [3 points' WHERE item_id=198;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Scavland Yard is the pride of Chicago. But every once in a while, they encounter an unsolved crime that requires a specialist—a consultant, if you will. Have your consulting detective get in touch with the Judges by noon Thursday so they may be contacted in case their services are needed. [20 points' WHERE item_id=199;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='He flies through the air with the greatest of ease, the one-foot tall man on the flying trapeze. Build the Mystery Motion-Man on the Flying Trapeze one foot tall, hinged at the shoulder and hip, and powered only by sand or water. Your aerialist should flip on his trapeze irregularly. [40 points plus 10 extra points if he is contained in a box that can be turned to initiate the movement]' WHERE item_id=200;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='It’s a decorative gourd orchestra, motherfuckers!  Build a five-piece orchestra made of gourds or other vegetables and play a tune at Judgment. No more than one instrument may be percussion. [12 points' WHERE item_id=201;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='“The Evolution of Man”, from early hominid to the dystopian future of our species, rendered on a wall in your headquarters in the style of Kara Walker. [6 points' WHERE item_id=202;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='What’s Bert doing sprinkling all that pigeon feed around in strange lines?  Why, he’s spelling a message to Ernie with the pigeons lining up to eat the seeds and forming letters. Please create four letters, simultaneously spelled with pigeons. [5 points' WHERE item_id=203;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A moiré pattern that animates an animal as it shifts. [20 points' WHERE item_id=204;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='I’m tired of Ófoodie pornÓ that’s just attractive people sighing with pleasure as they eat delicious things or walk through beautiful vegetable markets. Make some actual food porn: eggplants fucking mac and cheese, rutabagas’ nymphomaniacal attraction to watermelons, or steak’s seduction of an innocent cupcake. Be creative, but all your actors must be food, though the voices may be human in addition to the food soundtrack. [4 points' WHERE item_id=205;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At the center of the Quads, north is noon. What’s 7 o’clock plus 2 o’clock?  [2 points' WHERE item_id=206;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Plenty of movies have a scene where the entire village sings about a main character behind his back, and when he turns around everyone has to disperse and start muttering about 10 o’clock lunch appointments and things like that. Stage your musical number, lasting at least a minute, behind a professor as he walks to class, only to disperse when he turns around. [14 points]' WHERE item_id=207;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='In the morning, the Caucus heads for Winterset. John Deer admires John Wayne’s large gun. Buddy Holly mutters the John Wayne line that later made the singer famous. [4 points]' WHERE item_id=208;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Please return your RSVP at the start or end of Scav Olympics. [2 points' WHERE item_id=209;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Your appendix, in a jar, at Judgment. [34 points' WHERE item_id=210;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='TBA.' WHERE item_id=211;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Clad only in bubble wrap, perform your famous lawn chair handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred. [4 points' WHERE item_id=212;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Edible Arrangements.5exTM provides me with fruit shaped like flowers, but I’m more of a carnivore. Bring me a flower arrangement made out of all the components of a full English Breakfast. [8 points' WHERE item_id=213;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Outside the Valley Cheese Shop in Prairie du Chien, The Sturgeon Mary asks for blessings of good fortune from her half-sister. [6 points]' WHERE item_id=214;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description=' Spoons, arranged ’round a head. Strive!  Top Allison!  Understand: definitely tapeless. [spoons must hang freely from the face, all at the same time, for at least 5 seconds. 2 points per spoon' WHERE item_id=215;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A chromatic typewriter and the painting you made with it. [40 points' WHERE item_id=216;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='“Glub glub glubba glub”. “What’s that’? ’ At 3:00 p.m. on Thursday at the Ratner pool, send two teammates for a game of underwater tea party lip reading. [8 points' WHERE item_id=217;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Write an original polyglot emordnilap. [6 points' WHERE item_id=218;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Bust your nut!  It’s time for a good old fashioned walnut drop. Bring your nutcracker to the Quads at 2:30 p.m. on Saturday. Each team will get a walnut to load into their device, which will then be dropped from increasing heights. The team whose nut cracks at the lowest height wins the competition and the right to feast upon the nutmeats of its foes. [20 points first nut busted. 16 points for the second, 12 points for the third, 8 for participation]' WHERE item_id=219;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='The recognizable skyline of a city, made entirely out of currency from its home country. [6 points for a US city, 10 points for a foreign city' WHERE item_id=220;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Celebrate the mayhem of Scav Hunt. In the style of John Haberle, create a quodlibet painting or drawing of a messy table in your headquarters, with your partially completed items from this year’s list. [14 points' WHERE item_id=221;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Corn and Buddy Holly stage a good old fashioned duel in from of John Wayne’s home. The Sturgeon Mary despairs for the violence in the world. [4 points' WHERE item_id=222;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='As tweens in the Oughts, our first experience with the Greek Chorus was animated Lizzie McGuire. But that show never reenacted the Greek tragedies appropriate for its format!  Film up to two minutes of The Very Special Episode: Lizzie McGuire does Medea. [8 points' WHERE item_id=223;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A pitch pipet. [8 points' WHERE item_id=224;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='I finally built my time machine, and I brought my laptop back to the Renaissance to show Da Vinci how unimpressive his little “inventions” are. I even remembered to bring my charger!  But I forgot that there are no plugs. Build me a mechanism that can charge a laptop using only materials I could find and use in the 16.5exth century. [16 points' WHERE item_id=225;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='The Caucus takes a ride up and down the Fenelon Place Elevator. At Sweet Memories at the bottom, the Caucus shivers in anticipation when they find the sign of their upcoming adventure. [12 points]' WHERE item_id=226;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A gemstone that changes color in fluorescent light. [15 points' WHERE item_id=227;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='More like RagnaROCK. Assemble your best shipbuilders and rockstars: it’s time for a Viking funeral. Since the world is ending in 2012, please send your mourners to the point at 4:45 p.m. on Friday to send off your tiny heroes in style. They will require a floating Snekkja at no more than 1:28 scale, and a rock song with lyrics telling the tales of these worthy men. And, of course, they will need a mechanism by which to burn and send their occupants to the gods without also burning their mourners. [19 points' WHERE item_id=228;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Who’s brother’s name was Gabo?  Whose love depended on the answer?  Tell me the story!  [2 points' WHERE item_id=229;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At Judgment, bring us your carved pinewood derby car—it’s time for a race. Kits will be distributed at Captain’s Operatory. Winner takes all. Cars must pass visual inspection as being regulation cars, lest your Cub Scout honor be sullied. [10 points' WHERE item_id=230;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A kinetic typography video of the German 1980s disco classic “Rasputin” by Boney M. [12 points' WHERE item_id=231;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Three Days of Fantasy: Using SB Nation’s Pick Six, pick your best fantasy baseball team on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Highest combined point total for the three days wins. [15 points for first place, 10 points for second place, 5 points for third place, plus 10 points for beating the Judges' WHERE item_id=232;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='If you build it, they will come. At Field of Dreams outside Dyersville, Corn plays center cornfield while Buddy Holly, The Sturgeon Mary, and John Deer play infield with the ghosts. But of course, Buddy Holly never makes it home. [8 points]' WHERE item_id=233;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At Field of Dreams, where is Lisa Heckman really from?  [2 points]' WHERE item_id=234;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A yard glass, perfect for a funneling race!  (A funneling race?  Better BYO Big Red.) [9 points]' WHERE item_id=235;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='The Joker, Lex Luthor, and their kind have tormented superheroes for generations, but their sunset is certainly near. Produce a pop-up book to educate the next wave of supervillains on the art of picking a location for their lair, building a death weapon, luring their nemeses into a cunning trap, and anything else a young hell-raiser simply must know. [15 points' WHERE item_id=236;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='An AOL.6ex® floppy disk. [11 points' WHERE item_id=237;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A sweater made by a bourbon company. [14 points' WHERE item_id=238;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At the place of his untimely demise, Buddy Holly marches out with the Caucus into the cornfield. Corn rejoices to be amongst Cornkind, but Buddy Holly is disquieted. Upon arriving at the site, each member of the Caucus leaves an appropriate tribute, and Buddy Holly performs his greatest hit, “That’ll Be the Day”, while John Deer tries to hold back his tears, and The Sturgeon Mary consoles him. On the way out, each member of the Caucus takes their turn trying on the iconic glasses. Protip: Listen to “American Pie” on your way out of town and feel your heart swell. [16 points]' WHERE item_id=239;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Take GlaDOS with you wherever you go with the world’s most misanthropic GPS. Both voice and content must reflect her innate desire for your demise. [27 points' WHERE item_id=240;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='The USBC’s 300 game ring. [18 points' WHERE item_id=241;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='The offside 50p piece. [5 points' WHERE item_id=242;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Mint a coin that explains the infield fly rule. [12 points' WHERE item_id=243;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='For Item , you got the local authorities to weigh in on a variety of topics, but now we need to bring out the big guns. Get the ADA to admonish Ke$ha for corrupting America’s youth with her advocacy of poor dental hygiene. [6 point$' WHERE item_id=244;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At every public event, one of your team captains must have increasingly ornate headwear. Headwear must be built upon the same base item throughout the hunt. [24 points' WHERE item_id=245;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Outside Winterset, the Caucus visits the Hogback covered bridge and admires the romantic messages on the walls. In the visitors’ journal, they learn an important fact about John Wayne. [6 points]' WHERE item_id=246;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A flawless pair of ice dice. [6+6 points' WHERE item_id=247;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='The longest unbroken chain of Goosebumps.6ex® novels. [0.5 points per book]' WHERE item_id=248;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Guess what?  Albert the Bull will talk to you!  What operation was he a part of?  What movie did he appear in?  The Caucus listens intently to his dulcet tones. [3 points' WHERE item_id=249;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Bedazzle it!  [Bedazzle one item for an extra 3-dazzle points' WHERE item_id=250;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Red Grooms may no longer reside in Chicago, but show us that his influence lives on here. Create a sculpture that displays the spirit of Chicago in the way that Grooms’s latest piece captures the spirit of Miami. [125 points]' WHERE item_id=251;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description=' Pog tower!  Points per inch of pogs. [0.5 points per freestanding inch of genuine, commercially-produced pogs, up to a maximum of 30 points' WHERE item_id=252;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Remember the Strandbeest?  It’s back—in pog form!  Create a set of ScavPogs featuring items, events, and lore of yesteryear. Choose a good one for the slammer. [5 points for a set of at least 20 pogs]' WHERE item_id=253;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Scavsassination. Each team must send a lone watergunman to shoot a rival team Captain through the heart, during a public event, before the eyes of Judges and men. [6 points for a successful hit' WHERE item_id=254;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='How can there be a Kidz Bop version of “Whip My Hair” when Willow Smith is younger than the Kidz Bop singers?  Set things right with the Fetuz Bop rendition!  [5 points for the video to “Whip My Cord”. 5 bonus points for also going in the other direction with the Young @ Heart version, “Whip My Pendulous Neckmeats”.' WHERE item_id=255;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='“M” as in Ò-mancyÓ!  Use scapulomancy, aeluromancy, and aleuromancy to accurately predict the future. [6 points' WHERE item_id=256;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Early in the morning in Clear Lake, Corn cowers beneath the giant chicken, afraid of being eaten. The Sturgeon Mary licks the ice cream cone with her fishy jaws. [4 points]' WHERE item_id=257;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='The USS Flagg. [25 points' WHERE item_id=258;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description=' Sit. Eat. Beg. A stirring tale immortalizing animal nuptials and nasty divorce, rebounding exuberance, worldwide excursions, life lessons. Extoll forty seconds of narrative. [2 points' WHERE item_id=259;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Bottle of white, bottle of red, perhaps a bottle of rosé instead?  Send your finest sommelier to the Pub at 2:15 p.m. on Thursday for a “grape juice plus” tasting. [2 points per identification' WHERE item_id=260;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Official Olympic mascot merchandise [1 point per mascot, one item per olympic year. 3 bonus points for Zoich moich! ' WHERE item_id=261;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='The caucus pays their respects at the hobo graveyard before passing the Hobo Jungle and heading out of town. Who was the first black queen of the Hobos?  [4 points]' WHERE item_id=262;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='TBA. [5 points]' WHERE item_id=263;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='King’s Landing and The Twins are all right, I guess, but we’d rather see something a little more neo-Gothic. Produce a map of the U-.2667em .5exo-.125em.4exf-.125em C campus that when triggered erects a clockwork version of a campus building of your choice. [175 points]' WHERE item_id=264;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At the National Hobo Museum in Britt, what happened on September 21, 1948?  What unusual bindle did a hobo named Paddy use?  What is the hobo king crown made of?  And which hobo was an avid Cubs fan?  [8 points]' WHERE item_id=265;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Write your team name, the date, and “P.S. Scav Spiders Ruleth the Land” on an in situ leaf of an autograph tree. [12 points' WHERE item_id=266;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Even if you put it outside on a 100 degree day, the snow in your snowglobe just isn’t gonna melt. To remedy this affront against nature, produce a snowglobe that precipitates out a crystalline solid when cold and melts when warm. [20 points, 7 bonus points if the little snowman inside turns into a wacky cactus with sunglasses on when things heat up' WHERE item_id=267;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='In the tradition of the Truax, produce a pastiche for any of the other Seussian didactic takedowns of big problems. [6 points' WHERE item_id=268;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Go chasing waterfalls. Show us a team member holding a memorial 8”x10” glossy of Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes in front of the tallest waterfall you can get to. [0.5 R.I.Points per meter of waterfall plunge height, up to a maximum of 40 points' WHERE item_id=269;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At the Ice Cave in Decorah, The Sturgeon Mary bravely leads the Caucus into the cave with a flashlight, but they are rebuffed when they find the “Keep Out” sign. [10 points' WHERE item_id=270;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description=' Collect Kasems amidst many monographs ensconced Regwards et receptaculensis. [1 point per Kasem' WHERE item_id=271;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Captains, good thing you always keep your lucky sponge close to your heart!  [3 points' WHERE item_id=272;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Render a group portrait of the current Supreme Court, one justice represented in each of the following styles: manga, Mii, Ralph Steadman, H.R. Giger, Jules Feiffer, Raymond Briggs, Matt Groening, Jack Kirby, Al Hirschfeld. [9 points' WHERE item_id=273;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='This year’s dinner is all about travel...circa 1493. We will begin our journey in France with a delightful amuse-bouche, then head to the new world!  However, due to navigational...creativity, the next course comes to us from feudal Japan. Bring us a shot of soup that evokes one of the five Japanese tastes and one of the five Japanese seasons. Finally, headed east across the Pacific, we crave a main course from the newly discovered land, but with the flavors of home. Give us THE MYSTERY MEAT prepared in any style not indigenous to the beast’s home continent. Now acclimated to the new world, we’ll end the meal with a dessert made only of ingredients that could be found in the contiguous United States at the time of our landing, the year of Our Lord 1493. Dinner will commence at 6:30 p.m. in the McCormick Tribune Lounge. [d points]' WHERE item_id=274;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Up at the Law School they work all day. Out in the sun they slave away. Couldn’t they use the distraction of mermaids in their fountain?  [8 points' WHERE item_id=275;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='SCAV TEAM MEMBER–MIP. Carded bubble packaging for your team’s official action figure, complete with accessories, and filecard bio. Also, the figure this package is for should be life-size. [18 points' WHERE item_id=276;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='“A big turnout here, from all corners of the Outer Rim territories. I see the contestants are making their way out onto the starting grid. I hope they have better luck this time! ” Two team members (dressed somewhat like turbine engines) will pull a third team member sitting in his pod (read: skateboard). Now that’s what I call pod-racing!  You’ll need more midi-chlorians than Master Yoda to come out of this one alive!  Come to the Stagg Field track at 1 p.m. on Thursday to test your speed. [20 points for first place, 15 points for second place, 10 points for third place, 5 points for participation]' WHERE item_id=277;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A branding iron of the UChicago seal. No points will be given for testing on a living creature, but if you want to sear us up a mighty fine steak, we can get on board with that. [16 points' WHERE item_id=278;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At the Grotto of the Redemption, the Caucus reenacts one of the two unfortunate ursine incidents that took place there. [6 points]' WHERE item_id=279;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='In the Grotto Museum, the Caucus learns that rocks travelled from all over the world to be in the grotto. Which rock travelled the furthest?  [3 points' WHERE item_id=280;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Make a huge racket. [15-love points. 5 bonus points for serving and returning a proportionally large tennis ball with another team' WHERE item_id=281;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='With a string clearly marked in meters, fly your kite to the highest height at a time of your choosing between noon on Thursday and 6:00 p.m. on Saturday at Promontory Point. You’ll be allowed seven minutes and a ground crew of three. [0.25 pts/m, 100 meters maximum]' WHERE item_id=282;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Stuff and mount the head of a Goomba, a Malboro, a Hard Hat, and a Zombine. [16 points' WHERE item_id=283;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='The other 361 days of the year, we don’t have Scav, but we could use an incredible simulation. Holophonically record and upload a compilation of the best sounds of the Hunt that, when we close our eyes and put in the earbuds, will put that Virtual Haircut thing to shame. [6 points' WHERE item_id=284;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Inside the World’s Largest Truck Stop, the Caucus poses on the couch in the spacious cabin of a truck and takes a ride on the rotating truck platform. [4 points' WHERE item_id=285;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='An edible balloon. Must float. [22 points' WHERE item_id=286;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='The ToyOtter.5exTM came up with all sorts of ideas for moichendizing that saga of a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Sadly, none ever were put into productionÉ until now. Make one of Jason Geyer’s ideas come alive. Points will be awarded based on the unrealized product chosen. For instance, expect higher points for the R2-D2 Portable Wet Bar than for the Land Speeder Koozie. [up to 20 points]' WHERE item_id=287;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At Judgment, escape from a pair of UCPD handcuffs. We’ll provide the restraints. [9.11 points' WHERE item_id=288;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Here’s some Disney Afternoon irony for ya: A Gummi Bear mosaic of Winnie the Pooh!  [7 points' WHERE item_id=289;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description=' Ain’t no rule says a dog can’t play Space Invaders.5exTM!  In fact, this item requires that your dog play Space Invaders. Your dog may, and should, use a modified gaming system, but aside from setting up and accessing the playable screen, no human intervention is allowed. Modded systems should not change how Space Invaders.5exTM the game actually functions. [30 points. 5 extra points for the top dog' WHERE item_id=290;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A Minecraft replica of Harper. Be sure to replicate the interior as well, including classrooms, offices, and the pièce de résistance: Harper Reading Room. [17 points' WHERE item_id=291;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A full-scale Keyblade on the order of complexity of Oathbreaker, Oblivion, or Spellbinder. [10 points' WHERE item_id=292;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Get a meeting with the mayor of Chicago. [25 points' WHERE item_id=293;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A professor, in academic gowns, over a steam vent, à la Marilyn. Bonus points if the panties match Marilyn’s. [12 points' WHERE item_id=294;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='The appropriate music video for “I’m Bringing Skeksi Back”. [6 points' WHERE item_id=295;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Everyone wants UChicago to be more like Six Flags, right?  Right!  With that in mind, please create a faux rock with a speaker inside, broadcasting your favorite tunes from the nineties alternating with advertisements for the sweet and refreshing taste of Coca-Cola.6ex®. These rocks should be on the Quads starting at noon on Friday. [13 points]' WHERE item_id=296;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Sometimes Easy Mac.5exTM isn’t easy enough. Bring us Easier Mac and Easiest Mac. [2 easy points' WHERE item_id=297;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A reality TV-style confessional in your team headquarters. Please submit a 5-minute “best-of” reel for Judgment Sunday. This item will not be judged on specific content (e.g. whether it contains typical Reality TV tropes) and can be as open-ended, satirical, or pure as your team would like. [6 points' WHERE item_id=298;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Scrabble.6ex® can be frustrating because, well, those can’t possibly be real words. Phonies is much easier, because nothing is a word. Players will compete in a best-of-three phonies tournament. All of the rules of Scrabble.6ex® apply, except only words unacceptable in the Official Word List are acceptable for play, and there will no longer be a 50-point bingo bonus. Also, you are now required to pronounce and define each word after it is played. The tournament will commence at 3:00 p.m. on Saturday in the McCormick Tribune Lounge. BYO Scrabble.6ex® board. [15 points for first place, 10 points for second place, 5 points for third place, 2 points for participation' WHERE item_id=299;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A whiskey bottle molded in the shape of a log cabin. [10 points, 20 bonus points if it was originally given away as part of a campaign for the United States Presidency]' WHERE item_id=300;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Steganography, motherfucker, can you read it?  Conceal a hidden message on the inside of a hard-boiled egg without breaking the shell. At Judgment, we will crack open what looks like perfectly ordinary hard-boiled eggs to reveal your team name and a greeting to the Judges. Completely optional: include the super secret code word. [a half dozen points' WHERE item_id=301;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Beetlejuice. [9 points]' WHERE item_id=302;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description=' In memory of William Henry Harrison’s campaign for the presidency, keep the ball rolling at Judgment!  Bring us your team’s victory ball. Balls must be larger than six feet in diameter and decorated with slogans and symbols that advertise your team’s imminent victory!  [15 points' WHERE item_id=303;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At 5:00 p.m. on Friday on the Quads, keep the ball rolling!  A long-distance team victory ball race. Along the way, teams should take the opportunity to advertise their imminent victory to passersby. [20 points for first place, 15 points for second place, 10 points for third place]' WHERE item_id=304;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A Lichtenberg figure in plastic or glass. [13 points' WHERE item_id=305;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='The medal of the Order of the Bifurcated Needle. [30 points, 5 extra points if presented by a recipient]' WHERE item_id=306;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Place a bookmark between pages 15 and 16. Self-published titles do not count as books. Defacement of books will be looked upon harshly. [5 points for a non-Indo European language, 15.5 points for an Indo-European language' WHERE item_id=307;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Walter White’s NSF GRFP application “Research Proposal” and “Personal Statement” essays. Be sure the essays meet the “broader impacts” criteria. [3 points' WHERE item_id=308;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Tell us which Judges wrote Items , , and . [3 points' WHERE item_id=309;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Anypony up for a horse item?  Capture the majesty of a beast worthy of your magical friendship with a sculpture in the style of Deborah Butterfield, and you’d better make sure your big horsey friend has celebrated his cuteceañera!  [14 hands...we mean points' WHERE item_id=310;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='On Anti-Monopoly Road in Marquette, The Sturgeon Mary wags her fin at Lady Luck. John Deer tips his hat to Pinky the Elephant. Buddy Holly and Corn discover what Pinky did to greet Jimmy Carter’s arrival in Marquette in 1978. [6 points]' WHERE item_id=311;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='We were all devastated when Claudia got unfairly accused of cheating on her math test, and when Kristy had to write a one hundred-word homework assignment on the meaning of decorum, but how did a book series with such a gender-neutral title get so damn girly?  Surely there’s room for Joe and the Crippling MMA Addiction, Josh Loves Pantera, or your own manly babysitter book. Give us the first chapter and cover art. [5 points' WHERE item_id=312;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Corn tilts at the Danish windmill in Elk Horn, IA. Protip: try Jacquelyn’s Kringle at the Danish Inn next door. [4 points' WHERE item_id=313;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='It is hard to say which we hate more: wasting time or gingivitis. Come up with an effective way to brush and floss your teeth simultaneously. [16 points' WHERE item_id=314;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='No one has wanted to see your high school yearbook since graduation...until now. Bring us the best high school yearbook page featuring one of your teammates. [2 points' WHERE item_id=315;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A sand bottle on par with the Bedouins. None of that second grade birthday party crap. [18 points' WHERE item_id=316;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Driving into Dubuque, IA, the Caucus rolls down the windows of the Barnmobile to smell the sweet smell of baking bread. Corn holds Corn’s nose in disgust. [2 points]' WHERE item_id=317;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='So you’re going to be Vincent Cassel, and we’re going to be doing that scene in Ocean’s 12, only instead of getting through a laser field, you’re going to need to get through a maze of string. At 2:00 p.m. on Saturday in the McCormick Tribune Lounge, show us what you’ve got. [12 points, plus up to 3 extra points for style' WHERE item_id=318;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Make wine in three days. Must include label and bottle to be put away for the future. [12 points' WHERE item_id=319;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='.- - / ..--- .--. -- / ... .- - ..- .-. -.. .- -.-- / -.. . -.-. --- -.. . / - .... . / -- . ... ... .- --. . / .- - / - .... . / -.. --- -. ..- - / ... .... --- .--. / -. . .- .-. / -.-. .-.. .- .-. -.- / .- -. -.. [-.... / .--. --- .. -. - ...' WHERE item_id=320;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Buddy Holly plays one of his old tunes on the dancing chimes in Reiman Gardens. [8 points]' WHERE item_id=321;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Whittle-off. Come to the center of the Quads at 3:00 p.m. on Saturday. You bring the wood and knife. We’ll tell you the shape. [10 points' WHERE item_id=322;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Go to the Lot 17 in Block 18 of Egandale, a subdivision of the East 118 Acres of the Southwest quarter of Section 11, Township 38 North, Range 14 East of the Third principal meridian, in Cook County, Illinois at 9:30 p.m. on Thursday. [7 points' WHERE item_id=323;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='And Scaaav will always lo-ove youuu! ! ! . Backwards Karaoke. At 10:00 a.m. on Saturday in the South Lounge of the Reynolds Club, you pick the song and provide the backing track. Performances will be judged by resemblance of reversed recording to the original. [up to 10 points' WHERE item_id=324;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Dammit, Jim, I’m a doctor, and a bricklayer, and an escalator, and a shuttle conductor, and a magician.... Present a video montage of your team’s licensed MD demonstrating talents rejected by Starfleet Medical. [8 points' WHERE item_id=325;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='An American Humanities and Surplus catalog. [4 points' WHERE item_id=326;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A painting in the style of Thomas Kinkade.5exTM: Painter of Light.5exTM about the artist himself. Suggested titles include: “For Walt”, “Codpiece! ”, and “On The Road Near Carmel”. [15 R.I.Points' WHERE item_id=327;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='John Deer, Buddy Holly and Corn take an all-American photograph in front of the World’s Largest Wooden Nickel. [4 points' WHERE item_id=328;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Corn rocks out to some KoRn in the Barnmobile. [1 point' WHERE item_id=329;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Bleu Cheese Man Group. [1 point' WHERE item_id=330;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Couldn’t get an Alf pog for Item ?  That’s OK; we’ll accept a trade of equivalent value. [1 point' WHERE item_id=331;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Play a single down of football involving: a safety, the Raider rule, a drop kick, a dropkick, Rule 7.2.1(e), and the Statue of Liberty. [12 points. 4 bonus points if uniforms meet Tommy Wiseau’s standards.' WHERE item_id=332;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Pass a Camel.5exTM through the eye of a needle. Smooth. [10 points' WHERE item_id=333;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='D5. [10 points for trombone, 30 points for tuba' WHERE item_id=334;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Haven’t you always felt that Earth, Wind, & Fire was missing some essential element?  That’s why you should play “September” on a hydraulophone. [12 points' WHERE item_id=335;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Two Gentlemen of Lebowski?  Bah!  Any hack can write like Shakespeare. That’s why we want you to rewrite a scene from The Big Lebowski in the style of Beckett, Miller, or Aeschylus. [3 points' WHERE item_id=336;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Someone with a genuine, pre-existing full-body tattoo. [10 points' WHERE item_id=337;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Not many girls are named Lolita nowadays, which is a shame because it’s the only name I know exactly how to pronounce. See if you can make me equally thorough (and poetic) pronunciation guides for five of the top 100 baby names of the 2000s. [3 points' WHERE item_id=338;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='At least one pound of computer memory. Must be operational and accessible from a terminal. [25/b points, where b is the number of (octet) bytes the memory can store. No points for anything less than 1 byte. 5 bonus points if the memory is writable by hand' WHERE item_id=339;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='I feel the need. The need for speed. But also the need for safety. So if you’re going to be my wingman, you’ll need to bring along the right helmet, and make sure it leaves no doubt as to what kind of cattle rancher/waterfowl/X-Man/snake/court performer/wizard/time of day you are. [15 points' WHERE item_id=340;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Show those Juggalos the true miracle of magnetism with some ferrofluid choreography set to the appropriate song. [20 points' WHERE item_id=341;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Bring to Judgment a standard, unaltered Five Guys burger with no fewer than five non-condiment toppings. Then consume it without letting a single morsel slip through your grasp. [5 points, guys' WHERE item_id=342;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='An original copy of the Charles Mingus Cat-alog for toilet training your cat. [13 points' WHERE item_id=343;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A quartet to perform “Yankee Doodle Dandy” in the key of D -6pt[baseline=-1.2mm] ;.[16 points' WHERE item_id=344;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A four-letter word. No, wait. A four-letter word square. No, wait!  A four-letter word cube. NO, WAIT!  A four-letter word tesseract. Word shape need not be invariant under rotation, but it does need to be in English. [ for a word cube,  for a word tesseract' WHERE item_id=345;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A British Consol. [ points]' WHERE item_id=346;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A sonnet composed in C that, when compiled and run, prints a haiku to the standard output. Just as no great poet would ever write an unnecessary word, every variable and expression in your code must be essential to the program’s proper functioning. [10 points]' WHERE item_id=347;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Hmm, what’s that odd painting/drawing/photo displayed in the background of that painting/drawing/\nphoto item?  Why, it’s another item from this year’s list!  And what’s this?  The background item has another item in its background?  When will the madness end? !  Items cannot repeat. [3 points per layer, up to a maximum of 7 layers' WHERE item_id=348;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='A single piece of paper that, depending on how it is folded, becomes the flags of Indonesia, France, The Netherlands, Russia, and Norway. When completely unfolded, no more than one flag should be represented. [7 points' WHERE item_id=349;
UPDATE items SET mtime=unix_timestamp(), description='Use bombs wisely!  Clear a stage of Star Fox 64 using only smart bombs. Defeat an opponent in Mario Kart 64 with a bomb. Conquer three computer rivals in Bomberman 64 without laying any bombs. Win King Bob-omb’s star in under one minute in Super Mario 64. Do a pentuple bomb jump in Super Metroid. [15 points' WHERE item_id=350;