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Because of technologically advanced-secular-consumer based societies we think that life will go like this: education (friendships, tender first loves) > career (not just for money) > central relationship (love, satisfaction, friendship, marrige) > kids (adorable, best kids) > pain free life until 70s (physically and mentally healthy) > parents will die at an advanced age > we will die peacfully at 80-90 on our bed with loved ones.
This is a LIE.
No one gets through these steps without a single major cathastrophic event. Someone important to us will die very suddenly in a horrific way, or a significant reversal in professional life due to a mental illness, or just plainly go bankrupt, or a central relationship will go wrong, your child will be a bad influence, someone you trusted entierly will betray you, illness and death will strike from the blue, .. etc.
What is certain that somethign will happen to every single person. and it will break your heart. The only concillation to be found is that during those times you will develop your deepest friendships, surrender self rightoeousness, develop humor and grow up. You will appreciate the quiet days and be grateful. This is just what it means to be human.
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Remember, you are sick. When you are in your sick days, those toughts do not deserve the title of thinking it is just illness. They are fueled by self hatred. Be gentle for yourself talk to your shadow. He probably lost control because of a trigger.
It is not embarrising that you lost command. Get better at recognizing your trigeres and when the illneas is drawing in on you. When it is on up on you, just do nothing, dont plan for the future. Try to stop all mental activity and rest. Take a bath, watch a movie. Have a trusted friend or therapist that you trust. Willingly put them in charge. They should tell us what we are worth.
The idea is simple. When you are depressed and in low mood, DONT TAKE YOUR THOUGHTS SERIOUSLY, and dont try to figure out what is wrong. Just let the bad mood pass, sit back, relax, listen to music, divert your mind. And when you do this, you will return to normality and happiness much faster. Talk to your shadow.
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While going through hard times, take it one day at a time and think in term of weeks. Don't chain yourself with the expectation that something will be fixed in a single week or a day. Remove your impatience that is sourced by your hope. Turn into nature while working your way through. Focus on the day.
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If the worst came to the worst:
- 1 - I would learn i have far fever friends. But the ones that remained are the true ones. The ones that can see beyond my ruined social status.
- 2 - It would no longer be an option to follow the respectable-prestigous path, with far less to lose you have the opportunity to explore the riskier life, with no social preassure.
- 3 - You will measure your own self worth by your own standarts not from a crowd. Independence from the others.
- 4 - Look with admiration and humilty at the calm and stocisim of animals.
- 5 - Contemplate your own sorrows, recognize your life as the insignificant dust among the stars. Not nihilsm! Just nature.
- 6 - Develop proper gratitude for every minor thing.
- 7 - I would understand that life could not be formed into a flawless snapshot filled entity.
- 8 - I would learn to distinguish between what is serious or what is just a passing niusiance.
- 9 - My failure and suffering will be a connector between the others who feel the same.
- 10 - I would see the struggle for fame, money and success was only a doomed attempt to compansate for an unconditional love that was denied in childhood.
- 11 - Might give psychoterhapy a go.
- 12 - I would play the saddest songs that were waiting for me all the time.
- 13 - If truly the worst, every suffering would be at an end and we would at last like the prayers said be at peace.