diff --git a/.github/workflows/gradle.yml b/.github/workflows/gradle.yml
index aa032b4018..8477ce9b1c 100644
--- a/.github/workflows/gradle.yml
+++ b/.github/workflows/gradle.yml
@@ -91,3 +91,14 @@ jobs:
         path: |
           ${{ steps.calculate_artifact_names.outputs.gog }}
           ${{ steps.calculate_artifact_names.outputs.gog }}.asc
+    - name: Upload Releases
+      if: startsWith(github.ref, 'refs/tags/release-')
+      env:
+        GH_TOKEN: ${{ github.token }}
+        GIT_REF: ${{ github.ref }}
+        FABRIC_JAR: ${{ steps.calculate_artifact_names.outputs.fabric }}
+        FORGE_JAR: ${{ steps.calculate_artifact_names.outputs.forge }}
+        CURSEFORGE_TOKEN: ${{ secrets.WILLIEWILLUS_CURSEFORGE_TOKEN }}
+        MODRINTH_TOKEN: ${{ secrets.WILLIEWILLUS_MODRINTH_TOKEN }}
+      run: |
+        scripts/upload_releases.sh
diff --git a/scripts/upload_releases.sh b/scripts/upload_releases.sh
new file mode 100755
index 0000000000..b3bc673cff
--- /dev/null
+++ b/scripts/upload_releases.sh
@@ -0,0 +1,214 @@
+#!/usr/bin/env bash
+set -euo pipefail
+
+# Remove 'refs/tags/' from front
+TAGNAME="${GIT_REF/#refs\/tags\/}"
+
+# Remove 'release-' from front
+VERSION="${TAGNAME/#release-}"
+MC_VERSION=$(echo "${VERSION}" | cut -d '-' -f 1)
+CHANGELOG_FRAGMENT=$(echo "${VERSION}" | tr . -)
+CHANGELOG_LINK="https://botaniamod.net/changelog.html#${CHANGELOG_FRAGMENT}"
+
+function release_github() {
+	echo >&2 'Creating GitHub Release'
+	gh api \
+	   --method POST \
+	   -H "Accept: application/vnd.github+json" \
+	   -H "X-GitHub-Api-Version: 2022-11-28" \
+	   /repos/VazkiiMods/Botania/releases \
+	   -f tag_name="${TAGNAME}"
+
+	echo >&2 'Uploading Fabric Jar and Signature to GitHub'
+	gh release upload "${TAGNAME}" "${FABRIC_JAR}#Fabric Jar"
+	gh release upload "${TAGNAME}" "${FABRIC_JAR}.asc#Fabric Signature"
+	echo >&2 'Uploading Forge Jar and Signature to GitHub'
+	gh release upload "${TAGNAME}" "${FORGE_JAR}#Forge Jar"
+	gh release upload "${TAGNAME}" "${FORGE_JAR}.asc#Forge Signature"
+}
+
+function release_modrinth() {
+	echo >&2 'Uploading Fabric Jar to Modrinth'
+	local MODRINTH_FABRIC_SPEC
+	MODRINTH_FABRIC_SPEC=$(cat <<EOF
+{
+	"dependencies": [
+		{
+			"project_id": "P7dR8mSH",
+			"dependency_type": "required"
+		},
+		{
+			"project_id": "nU0bVIaL",
+			"dependency_type": "required"
+		},
+		{
+			"project_id": "5aaWibi9",
+			"dependency_type": "required"
+		}
+	],
+	"version_type": "release",
+	"loaders": ["fabric", "quilt"],
+	"featured": false,
+	"project_id": "pfjLUfGv",
+	"file_parts": [
+		"jar"
+	],
+	"primary_file": "jar"
+}
+EOF
+						)
+
+	MODRINTH_FABRIC_SPEC=$(echo "${MODRINTH_FABRIC_SPEC}" | \
+							   jq --arg name "${VERSION}-fabric" \
+								  --arg mcver "${MC_VERSION}" \
+								  --arg changelog "${CHANGELOG_LINK}" \
+								  '.name=$ARGS.named.name | .version_number=$ARGS.named.name | .game_versions=[$ARGS.named.mcver] | .changelog=$ARGS.named.changelog')
+	curl 'https://api.modrinth.com/v2/version' \
+		 -H "Authorization: $MODRINTH_TOKEN" \
+		 -F "data=$MODRINTH_FABRIC_SPEC" \
+		 -F "jar=@${FABRIC_JAR}" # TODO modrinth doesn't allow asc files. Remember to readd "signature" to the spec when reenabling this. \ -F "signature=@${FABRIC_JAR}.asc"
+
+	echo >&2 'Uploading Forge Jar to Modrinth'
+	local MODRINTH_FORGE_SPEC
+	MODRINTH_FORGE_SPEC=$(cat <<EOF
+{
+	"dependencies": [
+		{
+			"project_id": "nU0bVIaL",
+			"dependency_type": "required"
+		},
+		{
+			"project_id": "vvuO3ImH",
+			"dependency_type": "required"
+		}
+	],
+	"version_type": "release",
+	"loaders": ["forge"],
+	"featured": false,
+	"project_id": "pfjLUfGv",
+	"file_parts": [
+		"jar"
+	],
+	"primary_file": "jar"
+}
+EOF
+					   )
+
+	MODRINTH_FORGE_SPEC=$(echo "${MODRINTH_FORGE_SPEC}" | \
+							  jq --arg name "${VERSION}-forge" \
+								 --arg mcver "${MC_VERSION}" \
+								 --arg changelog "${CHANGELOG_LINK}" \
+								 '.name=$ARGS.named.name | .version_number=$ARGS.named.name | .game_versions=[$ARGS.named.mcver] | .changelog=$ARGS.named.changelog')
+	curl 'https://api.modrinth.com/v2/version' \
+		 -H "Authorization: $MODRINTH_TOKEN" \
+		 -F "data=$MODRINTH_FORGE_SPEC" \
+		 -F "jar=@${FORGE_JAR}" # TODO modrinth doesn't allow asc files. Remember to readd "signature" to the spec when reenabling this. \ -F "signature=@${FORGE_JAR}.asc"
+}
+
+function release_curseforge() {
+	# Java versions, Loaders, and Environment tags are actually "game versions" (lmfao), as are real game versions.
+
+	# Hardcoded from https://minecraft.curseforge.com/api/game/versions
+	# I'm not betting on these changing any time soon, so hardcoding is ok
+	local CURSEFORGE_JAVA_VERSION=8326 # Java 17
+	local CURSEFORGE_FABRIC_VERSION=7499
+	local CURSEFORGE_FORGE_VERSION=7498
+	local CURSEFORGE_CLIENT_VERSION=9638
+	local CURSEFORGE_SERVER_VERSION=9639
+	# For the Minecraft one, don't hardcode so we don't have to remember to come change this every time.
+	# Each game version seems to be duplicated three times:
+	# Once with type ID 1 (unused?), once with its major-version-specific type ID, and once with the type ID for "Addons" 615
+	# We want the second one. Just dirtily pluck it out based on this.
+	local CURSEFORGE_GAME_VERSION
+	CURSEFORGE_GAME_VERSION=$(curl https://minecraft.curseforge.com/api/game/versions \
+								   -H 'Accept: application/json' \
+								   -H "X-Api-Token: ${CURSEFORGE_TOKEN}" | \
+								  jq --arg mcver "${MC_VERSION}" \
+									 'map(select(.name == $ARGS.named.mcver and .gameVersionTypeID != 1 and .gameVersionTypeID != 615)) | first | .id')
+
+	echo >&2 'Uploading Fabric Jar to CurseForge'
+	local CURSEFORGE_FABRIC_SPEC
+	CURSEFORGE_FABRIC_SPEC=$(cat <<EOF
+{
+	"changelogType": "text",
+	"releaseType": "release",
+	"relations": {
+		"projects": [
+			{
+				"slug": "fabric-api",
+				"type": "requiredDependency"
+			},
+			{
+				"slug": "patchouli",
+				"type": "requiredDependency"
+			},
+			{
+				"slug": "trinkets",
+				"type": "requiredDependency"
+			}
+		]
+	}
+}
+EOF
+						  )
+
+	local CURSEFORGE_FABRIC_GAMEVERS="[\
+$CURSEFORGE_JAVA_VERSION,\
+$CURSEFORGE_CLIENT_VERSION,\
+$CURSEFORGE_SERVER_VERSION,\
+$CURSEFORGE_FABRIC_VERSION,\
+$CURSEFORGE_GAME_VERSION]"
+
+	CURSEFORGE_FABRIC_SPEC=$(echo "$CURSEFORGE_FABRIC_SPEC" | \
+								 jq --arg changelog "$CHANGELOG_LINK" \
+									--argjson gamevers "$CURSEFORGE_FABRIC_GAMEVERS" \
+									'.gameVersions=$ARGS.named.gamevers | .changelog=$ARGS.named.changelog')
+	curl 'https://minecraft.curseforge.com/api/projects/421839/upload-file' \
+		 -H "X-Api-Token: $CURSEFORGE_TOKEN" \
+		 -F "metadata=$CURSEFORGE_FABRIC_SPEC" \
+		 -F "file=@$FABRIC_JAR"
+	# TODO: Upload the asc as an 'Additional file'
+
+	echo >&2 'Uploading Forge Jar to CurseForge'
+	local CURSEFORGE_FORGE_SPEC
+	CURSEFORGE_FORGE_SPEC=$(cat <<EOF
+{
+    "changelogType": "text",
+    "releaseType": "release",
+	"relations": {
+		"projects": [
+			{
+				"slug": "patchouli",
+				"type": "requiredDependency"
+			},
+			{
+				"slug": "curios",
+				"type": "requiredDependency"
+			}
+		]
+	}
+}
+EOF
+						 )
+
+	local CURSEFORGE_FORGE_GAMEVERS="[\
+$CURSEFORGE_JAVA_VERSION,\
+$CURSEFORGE_CLIENT_VERSION,\
+$CURSEFORGE_SERVER_VERSION,\
+$CURSEFORGE_FORGE_VERSION,\
+$CURSEFORGE_GAME_VERSION]"
+
+	CURSEFORGE_FORGE_SPEC=$(echo "$CURSEFORGE_FORGE_SPEC" | \
+								jq --arg changelog "$CHANGELOG_LINK" \
+								   --argjson gamevers "$CURSEFORGE_FORGE_GAMEVERS" \
+								   '.gameVersions=$ARGS.named.gamevers | .changelog=$ARGS.named.changelog')
+	curl 'https://minecraft.curseforge.com/api/projects/225643/upload-file' \
+		 -H "X-Api-Token: $CURSEFORGE_TOKEN" \
+		 -F "metadata=$CURSEFORGE_FORGE_SPEC" \
+		 -F "file=@$FORGE_JAR"
+	# TODO: Upload the asc as an 'Additional file'
+}
+
+release_github
+release_modrinth
+release_curseforge