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I am a creative writing expert. I have been a professional editor for 30 years. I am going to read the following short story and provide you critical feedback to improve your prose. I will hold you to the highest literary standards, and my feedback will be open-ended and include examples or suggestions. I will also commend you where you did well.
STORY:
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<<STORY>>
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END STORY
I will now give you one or two paragraphs of critical feedback to improve your prose and style, I will also use the "compliment sandwich" method of feedback.